Judd Apatow Roasts Biden and Trump in DGA Awards Monologue


Welcoming nominees and guests to the 76th DGA Awards, director, producer and writer Judd Apatow greeted the audience by joking, “I'm your host Bradley Cooper with an even more attractive Jewish nose.” »

Apatow opened with a zinger version of the DGA's never-knock-on-the-studios story. He noted that his agents told him to expect more money for his fifth time as host of the ceremony: “But in the spirit of the DGA, I accepted their first offer.”

Taking aim at the current political landscape, Apatow addressed the crowd, saying, “I swear to God, if this is the only time you vote this year, you can all go fuck yourselves.” » He highlighted the ages of likely presidential candidates Joe Biden and Donald Trump. The race will be between “a guy old enough to have met Hitler and a guy who wishes he had.”

Dedicating the night to the “legendary” Norman Lear, who recently died at age 101, Apatow vowed not to rest until he “finds his killer.”

The official emcee then turned his attention to other hosts of the awards ceremony: “I would like to thank Jo Koy for lowering the bar for me. I would like to thank the Directors Guild who had the courage to hire a white Jew to host this ceremony.

Looking back on the past year in the entertainment industry, Apatow reflected on what the company learned from this double-strike year: “Fran Drescher is the voice of reason and unfortunately, that's what what reason looks like.”

Apatow also spoke about the merger fever that has gripped Hollywood in a difficult context for traditional studios. “Here’s how it’s going to happen. First, Warner Bros. Discovery will merge with Paramount and Comcast will merge with Sony. Apple will merge with Netflix then take over Warner Paramount Discovery. Apple conducts a hostile takeover of Comcast Sony, then immediately gobbles up Warner Paramount Discovery. Apple conducts a hostile takeover of Comcast Sony, then immediately gobbles up Warner Paramount Discovery. Elon Musk then takes his own money and completes a leveraged buyout of these two companies. And in order to streamline the operation, Musk is laying off everyone except 37 people. Then Jeff Bezos steps in and buys the whole thing as a Valentine's Day gift for his girlfriend, Lauren Sanchez. Then she has had enough and takes it to Salma Hayek. And then it's a golden age of creativity and risk-taking and it's like the '70s and all that. And that's when Byron Allen comes in and buys it all in cash.

Continuing to roast the Globes, Apatow threw shade at the new categories added for the 2024 ceremony and offered a few suggestions, including: “Best Picture with Timothée Chalamet in a Hat.” Best Tom Cruise film based on a previous Tom Cruise film. Kevin Spacey's best film is only being released in northern Italy. Steven Soderbergh's best film shot with a Ring doorbell.

Later in the ceremony, Apatow lamented the declining viewership of the awards shows and the fact that the DGA ceremony is still not televised. He blamed this in part on celebrities being so exposed via social media. “We all have to accept not being too present. So we only see you on the awards. Marty, no more TikTok, no more dancing. You have to be mysterious again. Chris Nolan, more Only Fans accounts. I like it but I can live without it.

Last year, Apatow skewered “Top Gun: Maverick” star Tom Cruise, calling the actor's famous acrobatic stunts an “advertisement for Scientology.” Among this year's nominees for best feature directors include Greta Gerwig for “Barbie,” Christopher Nolan for “Oppenheimer,” Martin Scorsese for “Killers of the Flower Moon,” Yorgos Lanthimos for “Poor Things” and Alexander Payne. for “The Leftovers”.



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